White people, I am sorry to disappoint you, but I simply do not have all the answers about Black culture, nor can I answer every question you have ever had about what’s it is like to be Black. However, if you still feed the need to pepper me with questions, let me tell you what I am not:
I am not a gangster…
I am not a thug. I am not even that mean. I am really just a big teddy bear.
I do not own a gun. I have never owned a gun. I have no idea how to use one. It looks heavy and complicated, so no thank you. However, I can play the hell out of the violin.
I do not have children, nor do I expect any in the near future. Honestly, I cannot afford them and I have no desire to pay child support. I do not have “jump-offs” whom I call only when I need physical satisfaction. I just do not lie that well and cannot really bring myself to tell that harsh a truth. I have never been a pimp or a player. It just seems like way too much work. No, I am not lazy, but I would rather put my effort into endeavors to will generate more than an orgasm.
I did not drop out of school. I do not know many people who did. I cannot relate to what it is like being uneducated in a digital world. I am not functionally illiterate. I did not have 80 students in a classroom. My high school did not have regular shootings and I did not walk through metal detectors to get to class. In fact, my schools were filled with people just like you and who ask the very same questions.
No, I am not a first generation college student.
Yes, I know my father.
No, my mother is not a crackhead and, while they had a hand in my upbringing, my grandparents did not raise me in lieu of my parents.
I have never sold drugs. I do not know how to “cook” crack. I cannot tell the difference between heroine and cocaine and I do not honestly understand the compositional difference between the two.
I have never been to prison. I do not live with my mother. I am not paid by the hour. I do not have a hustle nor have I sold anything on public transportation, though I respect anyone who can make a living doing so.
I am not the bullshit you see on TV so I cannot answer your bullshit questions.
I speak for many Blacks and Browns from Shanghai to Guadalajara who are sick and tired of being the sounding board and bearer of the burden of white guilt. So while I’m at it, let me tell you what I already know.
I am sure you are a fine person who does not have a racist bone in your body.
I am sure the one time you said the “N” word you were not aware of the meaning and how it offends Black people and that you have never said it again.
I know you are really curious about why rappers talk so negatively about women and how they use the “N” word with such ease. In all honesty, so am I.
Yes, I know seeing Roots for the first time really moved you emotionally and that you never knew slavery was that bad. I am sure you were shocked to find out that your family owned slaves. I know you denounce (and reject) the practice and, if it were you, would never have participated in the practice.
I am sure the checks you write monthly to the African orphans do a world of good.
I know the visit you made to the First Baptist Pentecostal Revolutionary Congregation this side of the Mississippi Church of God in Christ was both enjoyable and confusing. Sure, the music was great, but the dancing, running, and passing out would have almost anyone befuddled.
I know you thought welfare was easy money until you realized just how expensive it is to be poor.
And so on…
We get it White people. Overall, you are good people who simply do not realize just how bad things are. We only ask that you pass the burden of your guilt from us and act normally when you see us. Do not give us high-fives in the boardroom. More often than not, we will respond to our first names, last names or some combination thereof. You can resist using informal, urban greetings to us in an effort to be friendly.
If you really, truly desire to learn about different cultures, take a trip to experience them. Think of it in the same manner as your trip to see the Taj Mahal or your summer vacation in Egypt—it is a learning experience. Head down to your local community center, work with some kids and, while helping through whatever endeavor they have embarked upon in your presence, ask them a few questions to gain some insight.
Volunteer at a homeless shelter.
Ask your coke dealer why he sells drugs for a living.
Take a class.
Read a book.
But do not assume that because you get a response to your curiosity from a person of color who was pinned (and may have felt obligated) to answer your question that you have some additional insight. You simply have an opinion and opinions are like…well you know the rest.
I am not a gangster…
I am not a thug. I am not even that mean. I am really just a big teddy bear.
I do not own a gun. I have never owned a gun. I have no idea how to use one. It looks heavy and complicated, so no thank you. However, I can play the hell out of the violin.
I do not have children, nor do I expect any in the near future. Honestly, I cannot afford them and I have no desire to pay child support. I do not have “jump-offs” whom I call only when I need physical satisfaction. I just do not lie that well and cannot really bring myself to tell that harsh a truth. I have never been a pimp or a player. It just seems like way too much work. No, I am not lazy, but I would rather put my effort into endeavors to will generate more than an orgasm.
I did not drop out of school. I do not know many people who did. I cannot relate to what it is like being uneducated in a digital world. I am not functionally illiterate. I did not have 80 students in a classroom. My high school did not have regular shootings and I did not walk through metal detectors to get to class. In fact, my schools were filled with people just like you and who ask the very same questions.
No, I am not a first generation college student.
Yes, I know my father.
No, my mother is not a crackhead and, while they had a hand in my upbringing, my grandparents did not raise me in lieu of my parents.
I have never sold drugs. I do not know how to “cook” crack. I cannot tell the difference between heroine and cocaine and I do not honestly understand the compositional difference between the two.
I have never been to prison. I do not live with my mother. I am not paid by the hour. I do not have a hustle nor have I sold anything on public transportation, though I respect anyone who can make a living doing so.
I am not the bullshit you see on TV so I cannot answer your bullshit questions.
I speak for many Blacks and Browns from Shanghai to Guadalajara who are sick and tired of being the sounding board and bearer of the burden of white guilt. So while I’m at it, let me tell you what I already know.
I am sure you are a fine person who does not have a racist bone in your body.
I am sure the one time you said the “N” word you were not aware of the meaning and how it offends Black people and that you have never said it again.
I know you are really curious about why rappers talk so negatively about women and how they use the “N” word with such ease. In all honesty, so am I.
Yes, I know seeing Roots for the first time really moved you emotionally and that you never knew slavery was that bad. I am sure you were shocked to find out that your family owned slaves. I know you denounce (and reject) the practice and, if it were you, would never have participated in the practice.
I am sure the checks you write monthly to the African orphans do a world of good.
I know the visit you made to the First Baptist Pentecostal Revolutionary Congregation this side of the Mississippi Church of God in Christ was both enjoyable and confusing. Sure, the music was great, but the dancing, running, and passing out would have almost anyone befuddled.
I know you thought welfare was easy money until you realized just how expensive it is to be poor.
And so on…
We get it White people. Overall, you are good people who simply do not realize just how bad things are. We only ask that you pass the burden of your guilt from us and act normally when you see us. Do not give us high-fives in the boardroom. More often than not, we will respond to our first names, last names or some combination thereof. You can resist using informal, urban greetings to us in an effort to be friendly.
If you really, truly desire to learn about different cultures, take a trip to experience them. Think of it in the same manner as your trip to see the Taj Mahal or your summer vacation in Egypt—it is a learning experience. Head down to your local community center, work with some kids and, while helping through whatever endeavor they have embarked upon in your presence, ask them a few questions to gain some insight.
Volunteer at a homeless shelter.
Ask your coke dealer why he sells drugs for a living.
Take a class.
Read a book.
But do not assume that because you get a response to your curiosity from a person of color who was pinned (and may have felt obligated) to answer your question that you have some additional insight. You simply have an opinion and opinions are like…well you know the rest.
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